1. Understand and accept the nature of the crisis:
The very first step is awareness. Adolescence is a time when a child begins to separate and search for their own answers to questions like “Who am I?” and “Why am I here?”. This is not a personal attack on you or your parenting. It is a normal stage of growing up.

• Accept their feelings: Do not devalue their emotions, even if they seem irrational to you. Phrases like “You’re too old to react like this” or “Stop making things up” can cause a child to close off from you.
• Let go of ideals: Your child does not have to live up to your ideals or unfulfilled dreams. Let them find their own path.

2. Create a safe space for open communication:
Teenagers need a place where they can be themselves without fear of judgment.

• Be a listener, not a preacher: Listen more often than you speak. Give the child a chance to express themselves without interrupting or giving instant advice. Ask thought-provoking questions, such as: “How do you feel about this?” or “What do you think this might mean for you?”.
• Avoid excessive criticism: Especially regarding their new interests, friends, or views, even if they are not to your liking. This is a period of experimentation.
• Be available: Even if the teenager seems distant, they still need your presence and attention. They might reach out to you at the most unexpected moment.

3. Provide freedom, but with sensible boundaries:
Teenagers strive for independence, and that is normal.

• Let them make choices: Let them choose their own clothes (within reason), friends, and hobbies. The more choice you provide in small things, the less rebellion there will be in big things.
• Discuss consequences: Instead of prohibitions, discuss the possible consequences of their decisions. “If you choose this, what might the results be?” This builds responsibility.
• Set clear but flexible rules: Teenagers need boundaries, but these boundaries should be logical and open for discussion. Be ready to compromise.

4. Help in the search for meaning and values:
Existential crises are often accompanied by questions about the meaning of life.

• Share your own experience (but don’t force it): Talk about your own search for meaning and how you overcame difficulties. This can serve as a helpful example.
• Encourage new interests: Help the child find an activity they enjoy, where they can feel their worth and reach their potential.
• Talk about values: What is important to you as a family? What values do you want to pass on? This can be the foundation for forming their own value system.

5. Remember your own resources and seek help:
Raising a teenager during a crisis period can be exhausting.

• Take care of yourself: Do not forget about your own rest, hobbies, and social life. You cannot support a child if you are burnt out yourself.
• Look for support: Talk to other parents and share experiences.
• Don’t be afraid to see a professional: If you feel you can’t cope, or if the teenager’s behavior becomes destructive, see a psychologist. This is a sign of responsibility, not weakness.

A teenage existential crisis is a journey a teenager must take to become a mature, independent individual. Your role as parents is to be there, offering support, understanding, and safety, allowing them to find their unique path step by step.

If you have specific questions about your teenager’s behavior or want to discuss specific interaction strategies, feel free to reach out.

Quarter-life crisis: A crisis psychologist’s existential look at the 20-30 age group

As a crisis psychologist, I observe that one of the most common but often underestimated existential crises is the so-called “quarter-life crisis.” This period, usually spanning ages 20 to 30, is a time of intense change when young people face the challenges of adult life, often causing deep inner turmoil and rethinking.

This crisis differs from teenage rebellion, which focuses on identity formation, and from the mid-life crisis, which is about looking back at achievements. The quarter-life crisis is the clash with reality after finishing education, entering the professional world, and starting an independent life.