Almost half of school-age children encounter bullying to some degree, which means they need help. While aggressive behavior from others has been experienced in Ukraine before, the term “bullying” itself took root around the 2000s, alongside the spread of international research on school violence. In Ukraine’s official terminology, the word “bullying” is now established by the Law of Ukraine “On Education” (2019). It is defined as psychological, physical, economic, or sexual violence—including the use of electronic means—between participants in the educational process.

Unfortunately, bullying is a very widespread phenomenon, and it’s impossible to turn a blind eye to it. We must teach children to stand up to any aggression from others and, of course, not to be the source of it themselves. According to Ukrainian research, 51.3% of students (grades 5–9, ages 10–14) stated they had encountered bullying at some point. 14.7% of teenagers said they experience bullying at least a few times a month. A smaller group experiences it even more often.

Among the most common reasons for bullying cited by students are:

• Appearance;
• Differing behavior (too active / shy / hesitant);
• Worldview or an opinion different from others;
• Interests / hobbies;
• Language.

It is very encouraging that teenagers are no longer suffering through bullying alone. Thanks to more awareness of this topic, they are reaching out for help: mainly to parents, but also to teachers, friends, and psychologists. However, there are still many “blind spots.” Many cases of bullying, especially those that aren’t “loud” or are more “subtle,” aren’t officially recorded. Teachers often struggle to clearly identify what counts as bullying. Но this doesn’t mean the child doesn’t need help getting out of the situation as quickly as possible. Plus, the war is an added stress factor that increases the sense of danger and fuels aggressive behavior.

Bullying is a very serious problem that can have deep consequences for a child’s mental health and affect their future, so ignoring even the smallest signs is unwise. It is better to help a teenager quickly so they can cope, become mentally and physically stronger, and learn to set boundaries and stand up for their dignity.

What to do if you notice “red flags” in a child’s behavior, such as:

• Reluctance to go to school;
• Anxiety, withdrawal, or being tearful;
• Damaged belongings or bruises;
• Sharp changes in mood or school performance.

If the child doesn’t say anything, ask them gently and with care. Don’t ask directly, “Are you being bullied?” Instead, ask, “How was your day at school?”, “Who are you friends with?”, or “Is anyone bothering you?”.

Support the child emotionally. Be on their side even if you feel they are doing something wrong. Everything can be resolved if there is a strong emotional connection and a sense of safety. “What’s happening is not your fault. I’m here for you, and we’ll figure this out together.”

Show them that their feelings matter. Don’t brush it off (“Oh, just ignore it”)—this devalues their experience and makes them less likely to share. The child starts to feel misunderstood, shuts down, and as a result, the close relationship fades.

Teach response strategies. Don’t respond with aggression, but don’t ignore it completely either. For example:

• Calmly say: “Don’t talk to me like that.”
• Avoid places where the bullying is worst. If necessary, change schools.
• Tell an adult (a teacher, the school psychologist).
• Role-play typical situations at home—this will help them feel more confident.

Contact the school. Talk to the homeroom teacher, social pedagogue, or school psychologist. Demand that the school take action according to Ukrainian law (since 2019, bullying has been an administrative offense).

If the child has been bullied for a long time or shows signs of depression, it’s best to see a child psychologist. They can help build healthy self-esteem, emotional protection, and communication skills.

Maintain social ties:

• Encourage participation in clubs or after-school activities where they can find friends outside the school circle.
• Invite friends over—help your child build a safe social environment.

If the situation is critical:

• Record all evidence of bullying (messages, videos, photos, testimonies).
• File a formal complaint with the school administration.
• If the school doesn’t react, contact: the Department of Education, the Juvenile Police, or the Children’s Rights Ombudsman.

And most importantly, analyze your own behavior. Are you acting aggressively in daily life—about the weather, politics, your boss, or life in general? Our outlook shapes not only our own fate but the fate of our children. What feels like “just being objective” (that I’m right and the boss is wrong) can trigger a child to act like the “boss” who gets bullied behind their back, or the “worker.” Often, we unconsciously teach children how to bully. So, be especially attentive to the behavior you model.